Why Do We Treat Ourselves This Way? I came up with a new word. It’s called “breakaholic”. What is a breakaholic? The definition of a breakaholic is someone who is addicted to being broken inside and/or feeling emotionally broken. How can a person be addicted to emotional breakdowns? It doesn’t seem like a place any person would want to be.
Depression is debilitating. It’s not simply feeling sad or bummed out. However, I consider being emotionally broken more crippling than depression. That’s because when I feel depressed, I know that it will eventually pass. Sometimes, I need a time out and I take it. I allow myself to be in my depression and I allow myself the time for healing. When I feel emotionally broken, I am completely paralyzed on the inside. I almost can’t feel anything. Not even the depression.
Truthfully, some people are comfortable in their depression. It feels like a safer place than being happy. Some can become so dependent on being emotionally broken inside that when they find themselves feeling even a little bit of happiness, they do their best to remove themselves from what is making them happy. They may find themselves pushing their friends, family and loved ones away. They may imagine physical pains such as stomach pains and headaches. They may try to manifest the pain that they are feeling inside, making it appear as a physical illness rather than an emotional issue. This kind of self-sabotaging behavior is common for breakaholics.
So why do we treat ourselves this way? Perhaps it is because we fear real happiness. Maybe we don’t feel as if we deserve to feel good inside. Are we punishing ourselves for something that is out of our control? Whatever our reasons are for drowning in our own misery, we can agree that it doesn’t help us in any way to continue to go on this way.
What can we do to begin our recovery?
Seven ways to unbreak the breakaholic:
- Be aware of your emotions and thoughts.
- Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling.
- Know that what you’re feeling is normal. You’re allowed to be angry, upset, happy, sad, etc.
- Give yourself permission to think and feel outside of your misery.
- Allow time for self-care.
- Be gentle with yourself.
No matter what you’ve been through in life, you do not have to feel broken inside to survive. Remember, it is okay to do things that you enjoy. It is okay to do what you love to do and take part in healthy activities that make you feel good.
As breakaholics it is easy to want to stay inside of our own heads and allow sadness to take over. However, it is important to get up and take time for self-care. Self-worth and self-care are key for our survival. Self-care is essential to healing. Compassion, empathy, and support are key components for healing and recovery.