How to Cope with Grief after the Loss of Your Baby
No parent should face the deep sorrow of burying their child. The loss of a child is the most painful thing a parent can ever go through. It can be an illness, a stillbirth or an accident; whatever your child may have gone through will live with you for as long as you are breathing.
There may be situations where you will find yourself unable to move on from the loss of your child. But there are things you can do to help you move on from this heart-wrenching event in your life.
They may not altogether erase the painful memory, but they can at least alleviate the pain that you are carrying since.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Denying yourself the time to grieve will only make it harder to move on. Pain must be acknowledged in order for you to learn how to let it go and move on with the rest of your life.
Your life does not end when your child’s did. There are other members of your family – your husband and other kids, if there are any – who need you to be present in their lives.
You can take as long as you want to grieve for your child, but you must make sure to get out of your grieving period when it feels right and when remembering your child no longer brings you immense pain and sadness, but only love and sweet memories, albeit being short-lived.
It is not the quantity of time, but the quality of the time that you have spent with your child.
Focus Attention on Your Other Children
Channel your energy towards your remaining children. They need a mom who will always be there for them when they need her. Someone who will keep them safe from the dangers and give them the love that they truly deserve. A parent who will let the memories of her sweet child to live on in her other kids.
A parent who will rejoice and be grateful that she has other children that she can raise and love unconditionally.
It may be hard at first to go out and about. People may still be inclined to offer words of condolences that you may no longer feel welcome considering you are trying to move on with your loss.
But it is important to go out and socialize, no matter how much it makes you feel guilty that you are alive and your child is not. Interacting with other people, and yes, even with other kids will make it a lot easier for you to get rid of the pain.
Meditate or Exercise
Meditation and exercise are two of the most positive activities that you can engage in, even right after you lose your beloved.
Exercising and meditating releases endorphins, or happy hormones, which are a great help in making you feel a lot less gloomy and miserable. They also have good health benefits that you can take advantage of.
Get Busy with Work
Immerse yourself in your job so that your down times, or times when you have nothing to do but think about what might have been, will be lessened.
Take up a new hobby or craft, accept more projects at work or do whatever you need to get your mind off your grief. But remember to allow a bigger amount of your time not on your work but on the people that matter most: your family.
Being grateful for having the time to be with your child no matter how short it may be, is one way of coping. It will help you remember all the good times you have had with your child and not the painful last moments before they left.
Make an album of your child’s photos with your family and their friends. Getting rid of any reminder of them in your home will not make it easier; it will only delay your recovery from your grief.
The more you see things, photos and other things connected to your child will make the pain less painful every single day, until such time that seeing them will only bring a grateful smile to your lips.
There is no clear-cut solution on how to get over the painful loss of a beloved child. And there definitely is no timeline on how long you should grieve for your child. It may take weeks, months, and even years before you can fully accept that your child’s life was only up to that extent.
There is a reason for every loss; it may be to make you stronger, to teach you a lesson or to make you experience the sweet moments only a child can bring.
Featured photo from PXhere.