Author: Kay Kopit

It Had To Happen This Way: A Memoir by Kay Kopit

A survivor writing from personal experience, Kay Kopit brings an authentic voice to co-dependency and addictions, healing from sexual assault, denial and guilt. What she develops in the pages of It Had To Happen This Way is how she talks honestly about the internal pain of sexual violence and the chaotic life of alcoholism. After reading this authentic narrative you will find the strength and courage needed to overcome those fears that are holding you back from having a healthy life. It Had To Happen This Way is more than a book about surviving emotional and spiritual devastation. It is about championing, defeating and reclaiming a life. This is an intimate, true story of courage, hope and healing. It Had To Happen This Way is a message of hope and inspires us to follow our own paths. Buy the e-book for yourself and loved ones at,, and It Had To Happen This Way: A Memoir by Kay Kopit Read an Excerpt The Grueling Recovery Living alone was a mixed bag for me. It was a tremendous relief to have Joey out of my sight but at the same time I was terribly distorted. It seemed like I was swimming in a swamp filled with algae. I wasn’t afraid to be in the house by myself; I rather enjoyed the peace and quiet. What I was aware...

Read More

Road to Mariah: Journey Toward Adoption

A Telephone Call That Changed Lives As we are walking in the house my husband Bryan excitedly says, “The red light is blinking, pick it up, it might be someone important!” Underneath strewn clothes and luggage is an answering machine used for one purpose, calls with an 800 number from prospective birth mothers, nurse mid-wives, doctors, pregnancy crisis centers and anyone who might have information about adopting a baby. Although our search for an infant is well into the third year, I don’t want to pick up the phone today. Bryan is home for just two days; I have...

Read More

Breakfast at Le Bateau Ivre

Once a month I find myself gravitating toward the most unique Coffee House/Cafe in Berkeley, CA. I discovered this special place for dining about eight years ago from the recommendation of a friend. This restaurant has long been known for its delicious cuisine and comfortable ambiance. I am drawn to this café for breakfast because of the calm, peace and beauty I feel when dining alone in the fireplace room. I don’t know of any other restaurant like this in the Oakland/Berkeley area. Yesterday morning it was unseasonably cold in the Bay Area. Bundled in my thick fleece coat, I was on my way for an appointment when I realized I had time to enjoy this mealtime pleasure. The moment I put my foot on the front brick steps I felt as though I was on holiday in France. From the cream colored lace drapes to the amber wood floors I was welcomed by coziness. The smell of Eucalyptus firewood invited me to the back room. I noticed a woman and a younger guy warming themselves by the raging yellow-orange flames. They had pulled their small round table all the way up next to the fire screen. My first thought was, oh darn, they are hogging the heat. I was so cold I decided to leave my table and stand by the fireplace practically on top of them. I...

Read More

The Art of Visualization

What is it in one’s spirit that enables them to break the cycle of a dysfunctional pattern of living and choose to live a healthy life? Recently I was asked that question by a gentleman in my community. Each time I visited his vitamin store he insisted I talk about my healing. “What is it within your psychology Kay that gave you the strength to stop your codependency and get well? I’ve lectured for many years on addictions and in my experience only a handful of people in an audience of several hundred were willing to see the truth, quit denying and begin recovery.” At first I gave him pat answers, “I was sick and tired of being sick and tired or I wanted a better life.” He would say, “No, go deeper. All those folks who were in my seminars wanted a better life but so few seemed to be able to change their unhealthy way of being. How did you do it?” I’ve spent years working on myself in Al-Anon, therapy and A.C.A. groups. I have known for some time that my health is a gift from God and I have never taken it for granted. But truthfully I had never thought about exactly what inspired me to get well. I’ve lost many loved ones to death from alcoholism and drug abuse. Since I am the lone...

Read More

The Joy of Connections

An invitation unlike any I had ever received; brilliant orange and blue with a greyhound bounding through a large letter C, which stands for Clayton. I was being invited to my 50th Class Reunion in Clayton, Missouri a suburb of St. Louis. I was overwhelmed with a fusion of excitement, fear, wonder and curiosity. I could feel the rhythm of my heart, throbbing in my chest. I knew it was going to be a journey of emotions. Will I recognize my classmates, and they me? Is it possible to catch up with 50 years of living? Am I too...

Read More