Anger is often a symbol of vent of frustration in children. If you let the child not get rid of the anger syndrome and eradicate both the root cause and the anger, then your child may land in deep trouble in future. Hence, anger management for children calls for immediate attention of the parents.
When the anger syndromes occur in children, they are rather easy to identify. Your child will get angry at the smallest deviation from what s/he expects. S/he will show obstinate behavior. S/he will tend to yell and shout in an unpleasant manner whenever you contradict him/her over even the simplest of matters. Any question asked regarding what s/he does and thinks will make him/her demonstrate anger. The anger will occur almost at the movement of one wrong finger. At times, it will further aggravate to your child taking violent measures. Anger turning to violence is even worse than only anger without demonstration of violence. There are yet other times when your child will resort to silence. In other words, the child will remain but not let the anger come out of mind. The negative feelings associated with anger will keep accumulating in the subconscious mind of your child and would eventually expose your child to a potentially deeper psychological issue. Anger accompanied by silence can be identified by your child going gloomy in situations that s/he clearly perceives to be negative, and not respond or respond roughly to your interactions and other messages. Anger in each form is thus clearly identifiable. As we shall see next, anger syndromes impart a significant negative effect in human beings.
The threat the anger syndrome carries:
The anger syndrome of your child is dangerous both for the child as well as for the parent. For both the parties, there are short term and long term threats involved. The short term threat for your child mostly concerns an imbalanced daily life. An example could be that your child reacts angrily to his/her teacher’s suggestions and possibly chats back. The immediate impact of this behavior is the negative impression the teacher gets about your child and possibly a lack of depth in future attention of the teacher towards the child. Your kid may not find easy to make friends with other kids. As another example, s/he could upset a guest paying a visit to your place.
It has been observed that the long term effect of continued anger and violence can be disastrous. The child would grow up as an angry and demanding individual, possibly a bully. As a result, s/he is never liked by the rest of the society. In some cases, it even leads to formation of criminal mindset foundation in the child, and the consequences of such mindset are dire in nature. As a parent, the anger syndrome of your child is also not music to your ears. In the short term, you may have to face questions for your kid’s actions. You may run into trouble with neighbors, guests and others for the anger demonstrated by your kid. In the longer run, you may not spend a happy old age if your child is not in the right section of the society or not viewed with respect by the society. You would be further hurt by the fact that your kid may even stop bothering about you. None of these are good for any of you – in fact, each of them pose a threat of a certain kind.
Causes of anger syndrome:
Most often, the anger syndrome occurs when your child is in a wrong state of mind in terms of thinking. In most of the cases, the thinking addresses the analytical process of the social activities that your child would have to play a role in. The child tends to assess the reality differently from what it actually is. The error in assessment can be of different types. The child may believe that being young s/he should not have any responsibility or accountability.
Any responsibility or accountability is being thrust upon him/her forcefully. The child may also carry a belief that being angry would give him/her power and control over you and that may induce a sense of victory into him/her. S/he may be under an illusion that you are not paying enough attention to his/her needs and getting angry would help him/her get back the deserved attention. A further reason that may cause the anger syndrome is simply attempts to copy from inappropriate media to which the child got exposed to. The television and the internet are often sources of such exposures.
Your actions as a parent to eliminate anger in your child:
You shall have to take the necessary steps to eliminate the anger syndrome of your child. You must make sure that you child slowly but surely grows up with the understanding of the notion of accountability and responsibility for his/her actions. S/he starts performing almost every action with a firm notion of sense and accountability. As a result, the child will be pleasant to mix with, and would also have the desired attention simply because of his/her achievements. This would immediately inject the sense of power and control that s/he may be longed for, but it would be something that s/he has achieved and s/he would be well-aware about the value it carries. Being a sensible parent, you would want to make sure that the child realizes that s/he has your attention to every corner that s/he needs. Also, in the entire growing up of your child, you must be cautious so that s/he does not receive exposure to inappropriate media including channels spreading hatred, violence and other actions with a negative connotation.
Once you control the situation such that your child likes the life that s/he leads, you shall find that any anger syndrome that your child was demonstrating earlier will gradually start to diminish and eventually vanish. Your child will have a perfect control of temper and moods, and will be back on track in his/her life.
The author is a home school mother of 2 kids and a web designer. For more tips on handling difficult child behaviors, the total transformation program offers simple steps to help your child to solve his own problems and improve his behavior.