5 Ways to Deal With Constant Arguments in Your Relationship
Does it feel like your relationship is just one argument after another? Whether it’s petty squabbles over the TV remote or serious disagreements about big issues, constant arguing isn’t fun for anyone. Luckily, arguments don’t have to mean the end of your relationship, and there are a few simple ways you can start to deal with the issue.
1. Talk Calmly About the Problem
When you’re constantly arguing, it’s easy for that issue to become a source of arguments in itself. You might say, “We’re arguing way too much,” and your partner could respond with, “No we’re not!” Since it’s easy for things to get heated if you’re already bickering about something else, it’s important to raise the issue when you’re both calm. Pick a time when you’re not rushed and you can take the time to listen to each other properly, without things escalating.
2. Identify Common Patterns in Your Arguments
It might seem like you’re arguing about lots of different things, but there’s usually a common theme. For example, if you’ve argued about the grocery shopping, laundry, and washing up this week, the common theme would seem to be household chores. Something as simple as creating a new cleaning rota to ensure tasks about fairly divided could make all the difference to your relationship. Start looking for patterns and you might be surprised by how obvious they are.
3. Be Willing to Compromise
Most relationships require some compromise so it’s important to accept that you won’t always get your own way. Think about what’s really important to you and what you’re willing to let go. For example, you might really want to make one large purchase, while your partner might want to spend money on something else. Taking the time to consider how essential your need is will help you decide when it’s appropriate to compromise. The best compromises are satisfying for both parties, so don’t be afraid to stand your ground when something’s important.
4. Look for Underlying Issues
If you’re always arguing but you can’t spot a common theme, or you feel like you’re arguing for no reason, there could be an underlying issue. Is one of you under a lot of stress at work? Are you dealing with any health or financial problems? Is there a past relationship issue you haven’t fully addressed? Getting to the bottom of underlying problems is the first step towards solving them.
5. Try Couples Counseling
If you’ve tried the suggestions above and don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere, it might be time to try couples counseling. Speaking to a trained counselor is a great way to show that you’re committed to solving the problem, and it will help to explore complex issues more fully. Your counselor can act as a mediator, making sure both of your voices are heard. You’ll learn about effective communication skills, and your relationship should be stronger by the end.
Constant arguments can be caused by tons of different factors. Following the tips above will help you to talk calmly about the issue, identify what’s causing it, and improve your communication skills. Even if you decide that the relationship isn’t going to work out, you’ll have learned a lot about yourself and your partner.