Month: October 2011

It Had To Happen This Way: A Memoir by Kay Kopit

A survivor writing from personal experience, Kay Kopit brings an authentic voice to co-dependency and addictions, healing from sexual assault, denial and guilt. What she develops in the pages of It Had To Happen This Way is how she talks honestly about the internal pain of sexual violence and the chaotic life of alcoholism. After reading this authentic narrative you will find the strength and courage needed to overcome those fears that are holding you back from having a healthy life. It Had To Happen This Way is more than a book about surviving emotional and spiritual devastation. It is about championing, defeating and reclaiming a life. This is an intimate, true story of courage, hope and healing. It Had To Happen This Way is a message of hope and inspires us to follow our own paths. Buy the e-book for yourself and loved ones at,, and It Had To Happen This Way: A Memoir by Kay Kopit Read an Excerpt The Grueling Recovery Living alone was a mixed bag for me. It was a tremendous relief to have Joey out of my sight but at the same time I was terribly distorted. It seemed like I was swimming in a swamp filled with algae. I wasn’t afraid to be in the house by myself; I rather enjoyed the peace and quiet. What I was aware...

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Self-Pity or Self-Compassion

There is a vast difference between feeling sorry for yourself and feeling kindness toward yourself. Self-Pity When you see yourself as a victim, you indulge in self-pity. You are a bottomless pit of misery, and you may find yourself crying endless victim tears. You might say things like: Why do bad things always happen to me? I’m a loser and I’ll always be a loser. It’s not fair. God is here for everyone but me. I’m just not one of the lucky ones. Everything is my fault. I’m not good enough. Self-pity might serve two purposes: It gets you...

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Antisocial Personality Disorder: Inside Looking Out

antisocial personality disorder has been something of a mystery when it comes to knowing what is going on inside their heads. Many have wondered what they are thinking or feeling. Do they even feel empathy for others? Perhaps some are wondering if it is just a disorder of children and that they will simply grow out of it as they reach adulthood. I wanted to come out of the shadows to let others know a little more about this disorder; Not so much what is read in textbooks or from psychologists, but through the eyes of someone who suffers...

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Caretaking: A Covert Form of Narcissism

I used to think that caretaking was the opposite of narcissism. I thought that narcissists were people who demanded that others give themselves up to care-take the narcissist. I thought that caretakers were people who were programmed to take care of others instead of themselves. I thought that caretakers needed some healthy narcissism and that takers/narcissists needed more compassion for others. Now I know that there is a bit more to it. Caretakers do give themselves up to take care of others, but underneath their caretaking, they have the same agenda as the narcissist – to be taken care...

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The Vital Importance of Community

I’ve been reading in many different sources about the research involving community and well being. In his best-selling book,”Outliers,” Malcolm Gladwell opens with a study done in a small Pennsylvania town called Roseto. In 1882, Italians who lived in a town of the same name, Roseto, started to come to the U.S. These people worked in the nearby marble quarries or farmed the terraced land. Upon coming to the U.S., they found jobs in a slate quarry in Pennsylvania. Eventually, about 2000 Rosetans came to the U.S. They started to buy land on a rocky hillside and built closely clustered two-story stone houses. Eventually, they cleared the land and planted fruit trees and vegetables. They raised pigs and grew grapes for wine. Schools, shops and factories sprang up and the town thrived. While visiting a farm in Pennsylvania, not far from Roseto, a physician named Stewart Wolf discovered that a local doctor rarely found anyone from Roseto under the age of sixty-five with heart disease. In fact, Rosetans were dying of old age, rather than of degenerative diseases. Curious, he decided to investigate. He looked at their diet and quickly discovered that their nutrition was not particularly stellar. Nor did they exercise much. Many smoked heavily and struggled with obesity. It wasn’t genetics, as he tracked down people who had moved away and their rate of disease was the...

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