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Month: June 2011

No One Appreciates Me

Have you ever hear yourself say, or said to yourself, “No one appreciates me.” I used to say this to myself all the time. I was constantly giving myself up to please others, and then ended up feeling completely unappreciated and resentful – until I learned how to take loving care of myself and appreciate myself. I encountered this recently with Jayden, a young man who consulted with me after his girlfriend left him and he got fired from his job as a construction worker. An alcoholic who had stopped drinking last year, he was back to drinking. “I...

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Do You Chase When Someone Withdraws?

A member of our website asked this question in our advice section: I’ve read several of the articles on the site, but have not seen anything mentioned about “chasing”after someone who is pulling away in a relationship. That has to be a form of protection against deeper feelings, though, right? If someone is pulling away and the urge to chase after them comes up, what is the best thing to do in this situation? Thanks! I know exactly what this woman is going through, as I used to go through the same thing. When a man I felt connected...

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I Can’t Do It

“He can who thinks he can, and he can’t who thinks he can’t. This is an indisputable law.” – Henry Ford Have you ever noticed how often you say, “I can’t do  it”? “I can’t lose weight.” “I can’t find my soul mate.” “I can’t find a job I love.” “I can’t take care of myself.” “I can’t heal this shame.” “I can’t get myself to exercise.” “I can’t find my passion.” When I was little, one of my favorite books was “The Little Engine that Could.” For those of you who don’t know this children’s book, it’s about...

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The Law of Love

I have learned over my 43 years of counseling that no one heals without a personal connection to a spiritual source of Guidance. William was struggling with issues of shame and depression. He had struggled with feelings of insecurity and jealousy most of his life, despite years of inner work. While he intellectually knew that he was okay, emotionally he never felt it. This was his first phone session with me. “William,” I asked, “what is your concept of God or a Higher Power?” “Oh, you know, the traditional Judeo/Christian concept – an old dude up in the sky...

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A Brief Overview Of Trichotillomania

trichotillomania refers to an irresistible urge, or compulsion to pull hair out of your scalp, pulling out eyelashes, eyebrows, or other, and more private areas of your body. This urge can range from mild and occasional, to constant and overwhelming. When severe, this disorder can be quite obvious and embarrassing, especially when it results in bald patches on the scalp or loss of eyebrows and/or eyelashes. Symptoms The external signs and symptoms of trichotillomania often include: Repeatedly pulling your hair out, either consciously or absent-mindedly. An overwhelming, or almost overwhelming urge to pull your hair, followed by feelings of...

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