Month: August 2010

Moving Beyond Emotional Dependency

Are you ready to be your own person? Are you ready to move beyond neediness and into emotional freedom? Are you ready to stop needing others to make you feel that you are okay? Are you ready to learn to fill yourself with love and define your own worth? I hope so! Being emotionally dependent is a very hard way to live. When you are emotionally dependent, you set yourself up to be a victim of others’ choices. If others are loving and caring, then you feel good, but if others are rejecting, then you feel bad. You place...

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What Will They Think? Love and Approval Addiction

When you were growing up, how often did you hear, “What will they think?” Who are “they?” Unfortunately, “they” are everyone. Many of our parents and caregivers were love and approval addicted and geared their behavior to try to have control over getting love and approval and avoiding disapproval. This was the role modeling for many of us. Our worth was determined by what “they” would think. Most of us did not see our parents or other role models defining their own worth and validating themselves. What about now? Is you sense of worth determined by what others think...

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Managing The Fear And Anxiety Of The Unknown

All most everybody worries about what will happen in the future. The prospect of not knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a lot of fear and anxiety. As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on how to manage this fear of dealing with the unknown. Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you are afraid of does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage....

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Needs vs. Neediness

I recently received the following request: “Hi Dr. Paul — I would be interested in an article that talks about having needs vs. being needy. I was brought up to be ashamed of my needs. I was supposed to be self-sufficient. As a result, I am ashamed of neediness and often don’t recognize my own needs.  I also don’t know how to tell if others are “being needy” or simply expressing a need. What I am learning is that humans are INTER-dependent and everyone has needs that can only be filled by another person. One example is the Romanian...

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A Review Of Techniques In Managing Depression

Some people have a difficult time in managing their depression. Sometimes, their depression and fears can get the best of them. As a result, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their depression. One of the ways to manage your depression is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, your afraid that if you do not get that job promotion then you...

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