Month: January 2010

How to Discipline Your Child

So you find your defiant child cursing or yelling at you regularly and you quickly realize that you’ve got to understand how to discipline your child before things get any worse. Is there a solution to your problem? Let me help you with that. I’ve spent many years understanding both parent and child behaviors to see how each interact with each other. The key to applying appropriate discipline is using consequences and using them effectively. Many parents assume that they can change child behavior with strict punishment. And when that doesn’t work, punish them even more. But that risks...

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder: A Better Treatment Option

oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a childhood psychiatric disruptive behavior disorder. ODD children typically are aggressive toward others. They tend to intentionally bother and irritate those around them. In addition, these children rebel against authority and will refuse to obey instructions for no particular reason. Oppositional Defiant Disorder children cause a lot of problems for those around them and are particularly difficult for parents, teachers, and other adults whose position demands obedience and authority. Oppositional defiant children have trouble taking responsibility for their actions. Every problem, obstacle, or setback is always someone else’s fault. These children are stubborn and continually test limits. They frequently and unpredictably get angry, throw tantrums, and try the patience of those around them. ODD children break rules and refuse to take direction, even early in childhood. Oppositional Defiant Disorder children tend to be manipulative. They are quite skilled at causing conflict all around them. They are very good at pitting adults against each other. Often an ODD child in the home will turn parent against parent, parents against teachers, and induce discord in those around them. In short, ODD children: Easily lose their temper Constantly argue with adults Refuse to carry out requests Won’t obey rules Intentionally bother those around them Continually test limits and authority Refuse to accept responsibility for their own mistakes or misbehavior Are easily annoyed Frequently get angered, resentful, spiteful,...

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Safety With an Open Heart

Do you live your life with your heart mostly open or mostly closed? Do you spend most of your time protecting against rejection or being taken advantage of, or most of your time open to sharing love with others? As children, many people had very heartbreaking experiences that caused them to close their heart. What experiences led to you closing your heart? Various forms of physical and/or sexual abuse Various forms of emotional abuse, such as criticism, judgment, blame, ridicule, or sarcasm Being neglected, ignored, discounted, unseen Being engulfed and smothered by a parent – pulled on and used...

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Can’t Say No to People?

What are you afraid of if you say “No” to people? Here are some of the things my clients have told me regarding their fear of saying no: “I’m afraid of hurting their feelings. Then they will get angry at me and I will feel like a bad person.” “I’m afraid of ending up with no friends. People will reject me if I say no.” “I’m afraid that my partner will get angry and withdraw his love.” However, when you are afraid to stand up for yourself and say “no” when saying “no” is what is in your highest...

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Mindful Affirmations

Mindfulness is simply an introspective method for grounding your thoughts, emotions and behaviors in the reality you are currently experiencing, so you can stand back, observe, understand yourself more fully and take care of your needs. Mindfulness is also about reducing nonproductive behavior, creatively managing stress, cultivating inherent strengths, reconnecting with your happier self and seeing things with more clarity. Affirmations are declarative statements about something you now know, did, or intend to do. When you use an Affirmation you are not only being aware of your thoughts, but you are taking conscious control of them. When you say, write, read or even think of an Affirmation, you are, in effect, taking steps to acknowledge what is worthwhile about you. “Mindful  Affirmations” are not simply inspirational sayings but, are carefully constructed, thought provoking phrases that loosely derive from Mindfulness ideas of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, who founded the medical and meditative models of Mindfulness. The conveniently sized book “Presence of Mind – Mindful Affirmations” is a compilation of beautiful Affirmations and images that are carefully written to improve COPING SKILLS through affirmations, beautiful images and self-journaling. CLICK HERE for a direct link to the book “Presence of Mind – Mindful Affirmations” at Dr Arlene K Unger has a busy private clinical psychology practice located at The Center for Empowerment, Dana Point, CA, USA. She has been active in online therapy for...

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