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Month: December 2009

Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder

Who is your loved one with borderline personality disorder – really? Does he or she sometimes act kind or caring and then on a dime, out of nowhere, either rage or disengage, detach, and give you the silent treatment? Does he or she emotionally and verbally punish you with verbal abuse? Does your loved one have a very low frustration tolerance for any frustrated want or need? Does your borderline loved one have to be right? Is he or she incapable of being disagreed with? If you have Borderline Personality Disorder, do you you know who you really are? Are you aware of the  many ways that you are hurting not only those around you but yourself? Do you still need to take the journey from False Self to Your Authentic Self? A.J. Mahari has a new ebook available now called, Punishment and Revenge In Borderline Personality Disorder – The Unmastered Talionic Impulse In BPD – What Loved Ones Need To Know. This ebook includes 5 chapters and 161 pages of illuminating information offered through Mahari’s inside out awareness of the various aspects and issues that make up the foundation of the manifestation of the punishment and revenge that many borderlines seek against their loved ones. “In this in depth ebook, A.J. Mahari masterfully explains how and why those with Borderline Personality Disorder punish others and seek revenge on those closest...

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Be Your Own Brain Mechanic

Being in control of your emotions is a challenge, from time to time, for everyone in life and especially for those diagnosed with a mental illness. Emotions are related to thoughts generated in the brain. Thoughts are energy. Emotional mastery life coaching with A.J. Mahari will teach you how to be your own brain mechanic. Emotional mastery has its foundation in the principles of emerging new positive psychology. A brand of psychology that helps you to focus on your strengths first. In life coaching, the way that I apply positive psychology means that we take the pathologizing out of your experience, out of how you define yourself. People, with various forms of mental illness, often get caught up, subconsciously in negative, self-destructive, and very self-critical polarized thinking patterns. Emotional mastery coaching combines raising awareness, focusing on your strengths, and finding a healthier emotional balance with cognitive skills and tools that will help you to be your own brain mechanic. The process of learning to master your emotions is one that will help you create change psychologically, change in how think, change in how you feel, and for many, most importantly freedom from habitual patterns of negative thinking. Habitual patterns of negative thinking that are the foundation of so much of your emotional experience in life. These patterns are also at the heart of why you feel the way you...

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A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution

There are two kinds of New Year’s Resolutions: What you are going to do to accomplish your goals Who you want to be Many New Year’s Resolutions are of the first kind: I’m going to lose 25 pounds this year I’m going to exercise every day I’m going to learn self-discipline I’m going to double my income I’m going to learn to fly I’m going to take piano lessons And so on…. I’m not at all diminishing these kinds of resolutions. It is often very helpful to set these kinds of goals for ourselves. But perhaps this year, you can add another kind of New Year’s Resolution – the who-you-want-to-be kind. Who You Want To Be Resolutions What if your primary resolutions had to do with your thoughts and actions toward yourself and others? What if these resolutions centered around being loving rather than achieving something? What might these resolutions be? I’m going to become aware of my judgments toward myself and others and how I feel inside when I’m judgmental. When I’m angry, I’m going to go off by myself and take care of my own feelings rather than dump my anger on others. I’m going to stop taking others’ behavior personally and instead embrace the loneliness and heartache I feel when others are uncaring. I’m going to remember to be grateful for every small blessing rather than...

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Can Positive Thinking Help with Weight Loss?

Arlene K Unger, PhD Clinical Psychologist (PSY) Wellness Coach Certified nutritionist The Center for Empowerment Dana Point, CA 92629 Optimism may be the key to successful weight loss. According to Sally Squires of the Washington Post, positive thinking may be a better predictor of keeping weight off then eliminating something we’re eating. There have been numerous studies showing that obese individuals who believed that they would successfully lose weight while adhering to a weight loss program lost more pounds than their less trusting, dieting counterparts. The basis of a positive attitude in a weight loss regime is the belief that no matter what, you will succeed. This is what supports positive behavior change and discourages negative habits. Believing in what you are doing and your performance is the basis of self–fulfillment. In his book, Bobby Greene, a former 438 pound nineteen year old, tells how he lost 258 lbs by just changing his attitude. He was obsessed with available fast food until he stepped on an industrial scale and realized that he had to, and could do, something about his lifestyle. At age 35 Bobby reminds his audience that it was his dedication to living and belief that he could turn things around that helped him not only lose weight but also, indefinitely keep the weight off. Like Bobby, adopting a positive attitude can give you a clear road...

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ADHD: Are Natural Remedies the Answer?

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is a childhood-onset disorder that is becoming increasingly common. It is estimated that approximately 8 to 10 percent of children and 4 percent of all adults are affected, leading to problems functioning at school or work and escalating the risk of accidents and injury. People who suffer from ADHD also have an increased tendency to experience emotional disorders such as depression. What are the Characteristic Symptoms of ADHD? Children with ADHD typically exhibit a variety of symptoms, including inattention, impulsiveness, and hyperactivity; these are characterized by the following behaviors: Inattention: Distractibilty; Difficulty following instructions; Tendency to leave tasks unfinished; Daydreaming; Failure to listen when someone is speaking; Difficulty organizing and completing daily tasks; Dislike of activities that involve sitting and focusing on one thing. Impulsiveness: Interrupting; Answering before a question is completed; Difficulty taking turns. Hyperactivity: Constant movement (restlessness); Fidgeting or squirming when seated; Excessive chattering; Inability to engage in quiet play. Adults with ADHD are often unaware that they have the disease until their own child is diagnosed; at this time, problems that they have been experiencing are often recognized as signs of the disorder. Adult symptoms may differ from those of children and often include chronic lateness, procrastination, anxiety, poor work performance, anxiety and/or depression, impulsiveness, difficulty concentrating, and lack of organizational skills. What Causes ADHD? ADHD is a complex childhood...

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