Why Do Men Cheat? 5 BIG Reasons!

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Chances are you are reading this article because you recently found out that your man has been having an affair with another woman.

You may also be exploring what appears here after discovering that the guy you have been dating is already married.

If either situation applies to you, it is only natural to ask the question: Why do men cheat?

Why Men Cheat Top Five Reasons

The motivating factors behind what drives men to cheat are multi-factorial in nature. If you are involved with a narcissist, your husband or boyfriend probably thinks he is too smart to get caught. In fact, narcissism is often the root cause of infidelity in men.

There are, however, other reasons men cheat that you should know about. After talking to a number of Chicago relationship specialists who work with men who cheat and the women they cheat on, a top five list of reasons can now be revealed.

FYI: The causal factors listed here should not be thought of as some kind of “permission slip” for infidelity. Instead, it may be best to think of these as contributory factors which may help to explain why your guy stepped on you.

Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!

1. Something to prove

Men who cheat on their wives often do so because they are looking for a “no strings attached” dynamic. This may seem a bit shallow but some guys cheat simply because they want to know if women still find them attractive.

2. Fears of intimacy

Some men cheat on their wives and girlfriends because they fear intimacy. By having a secret physical connection with someone on the side, they can get their needs met without having a deep, emotional connection. They also don’t have to worry about getting hurt.

3. Need of intimacy

On the other side of the coin, some guys will step out of their relationship because things have turned stale with a wife or girlfriend. This point is particularly true of men involved in long term relationships. For some guys, it is difficult to talk about their feelings and will instead channel their emotions in the form of physical contact via an affair.

4. Danger and excitement

This may sound like a ridiculous excuse but some guys cheat on their significant other because they crave the excitement. Let’s face it – engaging in acts of infidelity carries with it certain risks, which in turn introduces an element of danger. The plain truth is that a lot of men crave that kind of thing. In fact for some men, it can be a sign of a possible sex addiction.

5. Wanting something different

This may be sad but it’s true. Some guys are just looking for variety. Men who cheat on their spouses and girlfriends often cite this as a major reason for cheating. Variety is often said to be the spice of life. In the case of men who cheat, this point is absolutely true.

Why Do Men Cheat: Final Thoughts

The current research suggests that 22% of men have strayed at least once during their marriage. If that number seems high, consider a more robust statistic published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy that reveals somewhere around 74% of men would have an affair if they knew they would not get caught!

Does all of this mean that all men are cheaters? No. In fact going by the research, a full 78% of men are faithful. The problem of course with research is that most of the time, responses are self-reported. The true number of men who cheat may hard to know.

Down to earth and folksy, Dr. John Moore infuses current eventsand pop-culture into his posts as a way of communicating larger points on issues related to wellness and goal attainment. His work has been featured in nationally syndicated media, including Cosmo, Men's Fitness and CBS Market Watch. He is a consultant to a number of Fortune 500 companies and institutions of Higher Learning. Dr. Moore is author of Confusing Love with Obsession and founder of Chicago based 2nd Story Counseling.

2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Counseling Cap: December, 2014 - Chicago Therapists: 2nd Story Counseling

  2. Joe de Saram - Rhodium

    January 12, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    This is the nature of men, they cannot live on same thing forever, so I feel in search of some thing new they get trapped and then they start cheating.

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