What Is Genuine Control?

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Genuine control is not something lost or gained according to what someone else says, does or thinks. It is within me in abundance at all times.

  • Genuine control is not something lost or gained according to what someone else says, does or thinks. It is within me in abundance at all times.
  • Genuine control is not about trying to make people like or love me. It’s about liking and loving myself and allowing my inner beauty to shine through.
  • Genuine control is not something that comes from manipulating the external environment – other people, events, and circumstances. It comes from changing my internal environment – how I perceive and act.
  • Genuine control does not result in feelings of powerlessness, anxiety, and self-doubt. It results in feelings of empowerment, contentment, and increased self-esteem.
  • Genuine control does not drag me down. It lifts me up.
  • Genuine control does not come and go depending on how I’m feeling at the moment. It is within me at all times, even if I choose not to realize it or use it.
  • Genuine control does not mean attempting to make others do things my way and think the way I want. It means making my own choices and thinking for myself.
  • Genuine control does not mean looking outside of myself to determine who I am. It means looking within myself and appreciating who I am.
  • Genuine control does not mean single-handedly transforming economies, business climates, and political realities. It means transforming my internal reality (myself), which in turn positively affects the whole.
  • Genuine control is not about predicting the future – my grades, my income, my relationships, or a thousand other things. It’s knowing that whatever happens I can choose how to perceive and react to life’s events.
  • Genuine control does not mean trying to change someone else’s feelings. It means that each person’s feelings are his or hers alone, just as my feelings are mine alone.
  • Genuine control does not mean never making mistakes. It means understanding that making mistakes (and learning from them!) is essential to my success.
  • Genuine control is not about feeling the need to change other peoples’ preferences and opinions. It means developing and respecting my own.
  • Genuine control does not mean attempting the impossible and feeling disappointed that I did not achieve it. It means attempting the possible and congratulating myself on each small success I achieve.
  • Genuine control does not mean telling others how to spend their time. It means choosing how I spend my time.
  • Genuine control does not mean other people, events, and situations determine my feelings, thoughts, and actions. It means that I choose how to feel, think, and act.
  • Genuine control is not about trying to stop the rain, the snow, or the sunshine. It’s about making rainbows, snowmen, and sand castles. 🙂
  • Genuine control is not about attempting to change what other people think, do, and feel because I know what’s best for them. It’s about deciding how I react to what others think, do, and feel because I know what’s best for me.
  • Genuine control does not mean controlling all of life’s events. It means interpreting life’s events in a way that promotes my growth, happiness, and well-being.

© 2003, Deanne Repich, All Rights Reserved
This article was originally written: March, 2003

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Deanne Repich is the Director of the National Institute of Anxiety and stress, Inc., a former anxiety sufferer, and an internationally known anxiety educator. She is the creator of the Conquer Anxiety Success Program, a comprehensive self-study program that guides you step by step through over seventy practical strategies for overcoming anxiety. If you liked this article, you’ll enjoy her course, free newsletter, and other helpful resources at: Anxiety Tips: Seven Keys to Overcoming Anxiety

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