What is Emotional Freedom?

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My definition of emotional freedom is being free from feeling like a victim of and controlled by our emotions. We are emotionally free when we know how to learn from and manage our feelings so that we are not reactive to them and they don’t control us.

How Do We Attain Emotional Freedom? 

Emotional freedom is the result of learning how to take emotional responsibility, i.e., responsibility for our feelings.

What does this mean and how do we do it?

There are two different kinds of feelings: wounded feelings and core feelings.

Wounded feelings are the feelings we cause by our own thoughts and actions. For example if you tell yourself that you better not make a mistake in your presentation at work, you will likely feel anxious, and the anxiety is coming from what you are telling yourself. If you ignore your own needs and do not take loving care of yourself, you will likely feel depressed. Our wounded feelings are feelings such as anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, fear of the past or future, resentment, emptiness, and aloneness.

All of our feelings are an inner guidance system, giving us much information. Our wounded feelings are telling us that we are abandoning ourselves in some way – ignoring our feelings and needs, judging ourselves, turning to various addictions to avoid our feelings, or making others responsible for our feelings, i.e. being emotionally dependent on another person for our good feelings.

Core painful feelings are the feelings that come from life – from people, events and circumstances. These are feelings such as loneliness, sadness, grief, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow, fear of real and present danger, outrage over injustice, and helplessness over others and events. These feelings are letting us know when someone is being unloving to us, when someone or a situation is dangerous to us, and when we need to attend to ourselves and take loving action in our own behalf.

While we do not cause our core feelings, we are still responsible for managing them with deep compassion for ourselves, and when we avoid them, then we are likely to cause our wounded feelings.

Core positive feelings are the feelings that result from taking emotional responsibility for all our feelings. These are feelings such as inner peace, joy, love, excitement, passion, aliveness, happiness, fulfillment, and so on. These feelings are letting us know that we are on the right track regarding our thoughts and actions.

Emotional Responsibility

We take emotional responsibility when we are open to learning about how we are causing our wounded feelings and what loving actions we need to take in our own behalf. We take emotional responsibility when we compassionately embrace our core feelings with deep kindness and gentleness toward ourselves, allowing ourselves to feel and release these painful feelings, and learning about what they may be telling us about others and events.

Emotional Dependency

Emotional dependency is the opposite of emotional responsibility and emotional freedom. When we are emotionally dependent, we see ourselves as victims of others and circumstances. Rather than compassionately learning from our feelings, we do everything we can to avoid them – using addictions to substances, processes, people and controlling behaviors such as blame.

Avoiding responsibility for our feelings leads to the misery of our wounded feelings. We create great suffering when we avoid our feelings and responsibility for them rather than compassionately embracing them and opening to learning from them.

The Path to Emotional Freedom 

You will gradually experience the joy of emotional freedom when you decide that you want responsibility for your feelings. Inner Bonding® is a powerful process for learning how to take emotional responsibility and attain emotional freedom.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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