The Calm Mind

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“The more tranquil a [person] becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” —James Allen, 1864-1912, Author of As A Man Thinketh

Of all the challenges in life, calmness of mind is probably one of the greatest challenges for many people, especially in our busy urban society.

One of the reasons for this is that most of us have been far more trained to think from our left-brained programmed mind than from our holistic, spiritually connected, creative right brain. Our programmed ego mind is deeply devoted to controlling our own feelings as well as others’ feelings and actions and the outcome of things. It likes to think non-stop about how to have control. But the challenging thing is that this programmed part of our mind often thinks negatively – thinks about all the bad things that can happen, worries, ruminates, judges, blames, projects, analyzes, and so on. All of these are ways our ego – the programmed wounded part of ourselves – tries to control feelings, people, and outcomes. And the ironic thing is that it creates the exact opposite of a calm mind – the exact opposite of what is needed for wisdom and success.

Our ego mind is our default setting. It is where we will automatically be focused unless we consciously choose an intention other than to protect/avoid/control. When we choose the intention to learn about truth and about what is loving to ourselves and others – what is in our own and others highest good – then we move out of our default thinking and into our right brain.

Moving into the calmness of our right brain takes much practice. Many people meditate for years to attempt to achieve this calmness. The problem is that, while they may achieve calmness of mind during meditation, what happens to the calmness when their intent shifts into wanting to control?

It is our intent that governs whether or not we are able to have a calm mind throughout our day – not just during meditation. Our ego is deeply addicted to thoughts that create fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hurt, and agitation. As long as we unconsciously choose the intent to control, we will automatically think the thoughts that create these painful feelings. We cannot consistently change our thoughts without changing our intent. When we consciously choose a deep intent to learn about truth and love, our thoughts will follow this intent.

What can you do when your ego mind is going full force and you feel stuck in anxiety, depression, panic, fear, and so on? How can you stop these negative thoughts and move into the calmness of your right brain?

Perhaps we can learn something from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, author of “My Stroke of Insight.” Dr. Taylor’s left-brain was completely off line due to a stroke. As it gradually came back online, she decided that she didn’t want to continue with some of her old negative thinking patterns. Not only does she tell her “Peanut Gallery” – her name for her ego – to “Knock it off,” she says it out loud “while waggling my pointed finger in the air, or standing firm with my hands on my hips. A scolding mother is more effective when she says what she means with passion and communicates her message multidimensionally.”

I often see my ego voice like a child or adolescent who is acting out. After becoming aware that my intent is to control and accepting what I can and can’t control, I might say to her, “If you can’t be quiet, you will have to go to you room!” But this works only when I have consciously shifted my intent from controlling to learning about loving myself. Once I do that, I immediately move back into calmness of mind.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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