Resistance to Gratitude: Why Isn’t The Law of Attraction Working for Me?

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Most of us know that expressing heartfelt gratitude is a powerful way to raise our frequency and connect with our spiritual Guidance. Yet many people rarely or never express gratitude, and when they do, it is more rote than truly heartfelt.

In a phone session with Deb, one of my clients, we were talking about this very issue. She was telling me how much trouble she has ever feeling gratitude.

“Deb, there must be a good reason you have problems feeling gratitude for what you have – your health, your home, work you love, your relationship, and your friends. What do you think is in the way of feeling grateful for what you have?”

“My life does not meet my image of what I thought my life would be like. I thought I’d have much more money, and live in a much bigger home. I thought I’d be able to travel more.”

“So until your life fits the image you created when you were younger, you can’t feel grateful for what you have?”

“Right. I just can’t find the feeling of gratitude. I feel resentful that I don’t have what I want.”

The law of attraction states that “Like attracts like.” Manifesting what we want comes from being in a high frequency of gratitude for what we have and the joy and excitement of moving ourselves toward what we want. Resentment has a low frequency, which keeps us disconnected from our ability to manifest our dreams.

“Deb, you have done enough reading about the law of attraction to know that you cannot manifest what you want from the low frequency of resentment. Yet you seem so resistant to gratitude, and you are telling me that you cannot feel gratitude because your life doesn’t fit your image of your dreams. Can you see how you are keeping yourself from being able to manifest your dreams, keeping yourself stuck where you are by your resistance?”

“Now that you say this, I can see it. I’ve always wondered why I can’t feel grateful for what I have, as I know that I have a lot. Now I understand that I’ve been so attached to my image of what I thought my life would be like that I’m not enjoying what I do have.”

Deb is not alone in being so attached to her image of her life that she is missing the joy of her life.

Are you so attached to your life being “perfect” that you are missing the joy of the moment? Are you living in the past regarding your image of your life rather than fully living your life right now?

Being in heartfelt gratitude means that you stop focusing on what you don’t have and start focusing on what you do have and on what you want for yourself in the future.

Are you trying to “control” your life from your ego wounded self who believes that resentment will somehow get you want you want? It is vitally important for you to understand that your “frequency” has everything to do with manifestation. Feelings like anxiety, depression, anger and resentment have a low frequency, while gratitude, love, excitement and joy have a high frequency. We connect with Spirit only in a high frequency. The manifestation gurus state that manifesting results from repeatedly visualizing what you want with positive emotion. I know this to be true from my own personal experience.

Gratitude is one of the most positive emotions we have. Start today to move out of the negative circle of focusing with anxiety and resentment on what you don’t have and instead focus on what you do have and what you want with gratitude, excitement and joy!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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