Narcissism FAQ: The Narcissist’s Past Sources

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Question:

How does the Narcissist treat his past sources of Narcissistic Supply?

Answer:

One should be careful not to romanticize the narcissist. His remorse is always linked to his fears of losing his sources.

Narcissists have no enemies. They have only sources of narcissistic supply. An enemy means attention means supply. One holds sway over one’s enemy. If the narcissist has the power to provoke emotions in you – you are still a source of supply to him, regardless of WHICH emotions these are.

He seeks out his old sources of narcissistic supply when he has absolutely no other NS sources at his disposal. Narcissists frantically try to recycle their old and wasted sources in such a situation. But the narcissist would NOT do even this had he not felt that he could still successfully extract a modicum of NS from the old source (even to attack the narcissist is to recognize his existence and to attend to him!!!).

If you are an old source of narcissistic supply, first, get over the excitement of seeing him again. It may be flattering, perhaps sexually arousing. Try to overcome these feelings.

Then, simply ignore him. Don’t bother to respond in any way to his offer to get together. If he talks to you – keep quiet, don’t answer. If he calls you – listen politely and then say goodbye and hang up. Indifference is what the narcissist cannot stand. It indicates a lack of attention and interest that constitutes the kernel of negative NS.

Much more in “The Narcissist’s Mother”, “Psychological Theories”, and “Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited”.

Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self Love, and runs the website Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited.Sam has served as the author of the Personality Disorders topic, Narcissistic Personality Disorder topic, the Verbal and Emotional Abuse topic, and the Spousal Abuse and Domestic Violence topic, Suite101.

1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Helpful link explaining why narcissists keep their former victims on the hook | The Faces of Narcissism

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