“I Feel Trapped”

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“I can’t seem to stop snacking,” said Linda, in our phone session. “And I can’t figure out why. I don’t overeat during meals, but then I snack on things that I don’t need to be eating. I’ve had this issue on and off since adolescence and I want to resolve it.”

“Linda, right now, take yourself back to the last time you snacked. See if you can tune into what was going on and what you were feeling.”

“It happened a lot this last weekend. I had some work I needed to get done I didn’t want to do it. Snacking is a way of putting it off for a bit.”

“So you were in resistance to getting the work done, is that right?”

“Yes, that’s what was going on.”

“What is the feeling inside when you have to do something you don’t want to do?”

“I feel trapped.”

“Do you often feel trapped in your life?”

“Now that you are asking – yes! I feel trapped a lot. I feel trapped in this job, which I don’t like. I feel trapped when my husband asks me to do things. I often feel trapped by our money situation. I feel trapped when I have to answer email. Sometimes I even feel trapped by my children’s needs.”

“Is this when you snack?”

“Yes! Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s always about getting out of feeling trapped for a few minutes. But then I end up feeling trapped in my body because I don’t like what I weigh!”

I knew exactly what Linda was talking about, as I used to feel trapped in my life a lot, and I had also learned to turn to various addictions to resist feeling trapped. Whenever I saw something as a “have to” rather than a “want to,” I felt trapped.

“Linda, I know the sensation of feeling trapped and wanting to find some way out. What I’ve learned to do is to shift my thinking from telling myself that I ‘have to’ do something, to seeing it as an opportunity to love myself and others. When I shift from ‘have to’ to asking “What is my opportunity to love right now?” the trapped feeling goes away and the resistance dissolves.

“For example, right now, imagine opening your email and asking yourself, ‘What is my opportunity to love right now?’ What comes to mind?”

“The first thing that comes to mind is that I can send out kind and caring emails to the people who are reaching out to me.”

“What do you usually tell yourself when people reach out to you?”

“I feel annoyed that now I have to answer them.”

“How does it feel to tell yourself that this is an opportunity to be kind and caring?”

“Wow, it’s amazing! When I tell myself that I have to answer them, the first thing I want to do is get up and snack. I can see that telling myself that I ‘have to’ sets me up for feeling trapped and resistant. But when I tell myself that this is an opportunity to be kind and caring, I feel great and I look forward to answering the emails. I think that if I can remember to do this every time there is something I need to do, I will probably be able to stop snacking.”

None of us like to feel trapped, and many people go immediately into resistance the moment they feel trapped. When you choose to see each situation in your life as an opportunity to love, and you open to learning about what would be loving, you will no longer feel trapped.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.
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