Have you ever said to yourself, “The reason God doesn’t love me is I don’t deserve to be loved?”
Have you ever looked inside to discover why you might not be loving to yourself and answered with, “I’m not worthy of love”?
I hear this all the time from my clients. It is often one of the major false beliefs of the ego wounded self.
What exactly does this mean? When I ask people the question, “Why don’t you deserve love?” they say, “I don’t know. I guess if I deserved love, I would have been loved.”
So the conclusion they came to is that they must not be worthy of love because they weren’t loved – a huge false conclusion.
“Is there any baby born on the planet that isn’t worthy of love?” I ask them. “Do deformed or handicapped babies deserve love?”
“Of course,” they always answer.
“Do dogs and cats deserve love?”
“If a puppy has been abandoned and is in a shelter, does he or she deserve love?”
“Then why don’t you?”
When they see that it makes no sense that they don’t deserve love, then they have to grapple with the real issue, which is that even though they are worthy of love, they weren’t loved.
“So were you not loved because you didn’t deserve love, or because your parents or caregivers didn’t know how to love you?”
This, of course, is the real issue. It’s easier to tell ourselves that we don’t deserve love – which then makes it our fault and gives us a feeling of control over not being loved – than to open to the loneliness, helplessness, and heartbreak of not being loved.
“Think about that little baby you were who never felt loved. Does that baby deserve to be loved by you now? Is there anything about the baby in you that isn’t worthy of love?”
“No. No of course not.”
“Are you willing to learn to give that baby the love you never had and still need?”