I Can’t Do It

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“He can who thinks he can, and he can’t who thinks he can’t. This is an indisputable law.” – Henry Ford

Have you ever noticed how often you say, “I can’t do  it”?

“I can’t lose weight.”
“I can’t find my soul mate.”
“I can’t find a job I love.”
“I can’t take care of myself.”
“I can’t heal this shame.”
“I can’t get myself to exercise.”
“I can’t find my passion.”

When I was little, one of my favorite books was “The Little Engine that Could.” For those of you who don’t know this children’s book, it’s about a little train engine who was given the job of pulling a very big load up a hill. As it was pulling the load, it kept saying, “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” And, of course, it did.

As a three-year old, this little book impressed me very much. I memorized it and read it over and over. I integrated “I think I can,” into my thought process, and every time I was challenged, I would say “I think I can,” to myself. Like the little engine who could, I never gave up on something that really mattered to me. Fortunately, “I can’t” didn’t become a part of my language.

With many of my clients, it’s a different story. “I can’t” seems to be deeply entrenched into their language. In the work I do, I help people learn how to heal their shame, how to take emotional responsibility by learning to be loving to themselves and others, and how to connect with a personal source of spiritual Guidance. Very often, my clients say things like, “I can’t take care of myself. I don’t know how.” “I can’t connect with my spiritual Guidance. I’m not capable of this.” “I can’t remember to be present with my feelings.” “I can’t speak up for myself – it’s too hard.” And, as Henry Ford states in the above quote, as long as they choose to believe this, they can’t. They prove themselves right every time.

I wonder if you would be willing to try an experiment. What might happen if, every time you hear yourself say “I can’t” you consciously turn it around and say, “I can!” If you did this often enough, you would change your way of thinking, and in changing your thinking, you can change the outcome of your efforts.

Fortunately, another thing I learned very early in my life is that it’s okay to fail. To me failure only means that I need to try harder and learn more. Failure never means that I am stupid or incapable. While I’ve had plenty of failure in my life, it never stopped me from saying “I think I can,” which is what enables me to keep going until I succeed.

From 1998 until 2010, I worked on creating a major software program, called SelfQuest. During these 12 years I had many failures and disappointments, but never once did it occur to me that I would not succeed in creating the program of my vision. It was vitally important to me to create this program that I knew would be a huge help to others, and I knew that nothing would stop me. Even when the programmer disappeared with all the work, I knew in my soul that it would all work out. And it did. After finding an incredible new programmer, the original programmer resurfaced and gave us everything we needed to complete it.

No one succeeds without failures, and no one succeeds by saying “I can’t“. I suggest that you read “The Little Engine that Could” and integrate this into your mindset!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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