Body Image Stress – Aging Insecurities and Self-Image

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I received the following email from someone who had read one of my articles:

“One topic that I feel that I haven’t seen covered much is the issue of body-image related stress, anxiety, and insecurity, and how to fight it. We all age. Personally, I am 27 years old, and rapidly going from a handsome full-headed young man to a completely bald individual in a very looks-dependent society. This process has been devastating to my mental well being in the last 3 years. However much I tell myself that I am in control of how I feel about myself, I cannot rid myself of the fear of never finding the right woman because of a lack of initial attraction on their part.”

There are two ways that we can define our worth: externally or internally. As long as your worth is defined by your looks or your performance, aging will create stress. Telling yourself that you are in control of how you feel about yourself is not going to change the fact that you are defining your worth externally.

Many women are going to be more attracted to you regarding your ENERGY than your looks. A woman who is put off by baldness is a woman who is also defining herself externally – likely by how her boyfriend looks. And as long as you are not defining your worth by inner qualities, such as kindness, caring, compassion, creativity, sense of humor, integrity, reliability, and so on, you may run into women who will reject you due to being bald.

Everything changes energetically when you define worth by your internal, intrinsic qualities. It is this that creates the sense of personal power along with the gentleness that many women love and are very attracted to.

Do you really want a woman who cares more about how much hair you have on your head than who you are? If this woman bases her attraction to you on your looks, what happens as you age even more?

The challenge here is to learn to define your own worth, which cannot happen through your programmed mind. Your left-brain ego wounded mind has been deeply programmed to define worth in terms of looks and performance.

Defining your Worth Internally

In order to see and value who you really are, separate from your looks and performance, you need to be able to see yourself from a place of truth. Your programmed ego mind is not able to access truth, so telling yourself from this place, your wounded self, that you are in control of how you feel about yourself isn’t going to make you feel any better at all.

However, when you open to learning about who you REALLY are, and you ask your spiritual Guidance – whatever this is for you (your higher self, higher power, God/Goddess, Spirit, Universal truth, the Light, and so on) – you can begin to access the truth of your soul essence, the spark of the Divine that is within you. It is only through the eyes of love and truth that you can heal the fear of your wounded self that you will never find the right woman because of a lack of initial attraction on her part.

The more you learn to value who you are really are, the more you will attract a woman who also values herself for who she is. This woman will be far more interested in your energy of caring, kindness, and personal power than in your hair! When you truly value yourself for who you really are, there is no doubt that you will find the right woman.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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