Anxiety and Depression

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Anxiety and depression run rampant in our society. There are many causes for anxiety and depression – physical, emotional and spiritual. Therefore, the symptoms need to be addressed on all these levels.

Physical

Keeping your body healthy is fundamental to avoiding anxiety and depression. This means finding a form of exercise that you love to do and doing it consistently. It also means educating yourself about good nutrition and learning about what your body needs to be strong and healthy. The first things you need to eliminate are sugar and caffeine.

Eating sugar raises the blood sugar level too rapidly and causes the pancreas to pour excess insulin into the system, thus lowering the blood sugar level too much. When this occurs, the brain doesn’t get enough glucose and depression (“Sugar Blues”) can occur.

Caffeine causes the adrenal glands to pour adrenaline into the system, which is what gives you the lift when you drink coffee or soft drinks with caffeine in them. However, the adrenal glands get stressed with the constant demand upon them, and eventually go into adrenal exhaustion (this also happens with stress, which we will discuss later). Adrenal exhaustion is often an underlying cause of depression.

Both anxiety and depression can be exacerbated by eating foods with pesticides and preservatives, because of the demand these put upon the body. Anything that is not natural to the body causes an energy drain as the body attempts to digest and utilize foreign substances. A simple rule of thumb in eating well is to eat only what people ate 200 years ago. This would eliminate all packaged, frozen, and pesticide-laden products.

In addition, each person needs to discover what his or her particular body needs to be healthy. You need to discover the percent of protein, fat and carbohydrates you need, as well as the combination of foods you need to eat at any given meal. A great site in which to discover this is http://www.metabolictyping.com/. You need to discover the percentage of raw and cooked food you need, and how much food you need.

Emotional

Most of our painful feelings, such as anxiety, depression, anger, hurt and fear are caused by our thoughts. The major way that our spiritual guidance communicates with us instantly is through our feelings. When we think a thought that causes us to feel depressed, anxious or fearful, these painful feelings are our inner guidance’s way of letting us know that the thought is not true — it is a false belief. Thoughts that create feelings of peace, love and joy are coming from truth, and thoughts that create depression and anxiety are coming from the lies we tell ourselves. The problem is that our ego wounded self thinks it’s thoughts, which it makes up, are the truth, so we keep thinking thoughts that cause us to feel anxious and depressed.

Truth does not come from our own minds. Truth comes from Spirit. When you are operating from truth, and take loving action based on truth — rather than thinking and behaving from false beliefs — you will be well on the way to healing your anxiety and depression.

The Inner Bonding® process is a powerful process for learning what you are thinking and doing that is creating your anxiety and depression, and for discovering the truth. Let’s go through some sample processes dealing with anxiety and depression.

A Six-Step Process: Anxiety

Step 1 – Tune into your feeling of anxiety. Where do you feel it in your body? Where is your body tense or tight? Acknowledge, welcome and embrace the feelings of anxiety. Pretend these feelings are a small child who is feeling very anxious and needs your caring. Decide that you want responsibility for causing these feelings.

Step 2 – Choose a compassionate intent to learn about what you are thinking or doing that is creating the anxiety. Let go of believing, for the moment, that other people or events are causing these feelings.

Step 3 – Ask the feeling part of you — your Inner Child — what you as the adult are thinking or doing that is causing these feelings. Then allow yourself to move into the anxiety and let the answers come from within. For example:

Adult: What am I thinking or doing that is causing you to feel so anxious?

Child: You keep telling me that I am not allowed to make mistakes, that I have to be perfect. You keep telling me that people (or my mate or my employer, etc.) will reject me if I don’t do things right. And you keep judging me when I’m not totally perfect. You are so hard on me. How do you expect me to feel? Of course I’m anxious! I feel like I can’t just be me, that I have to perform all the time or bad things will happen.

Step 4 – Ask your spiritual Guidance (if you are not in touch with your personal Guidance, just ask the question of the Universe) “Is what I’m telling myself the truth? Can I have control over how others feel about me by being perfect? Does judging myself get me to do things perfectly?”

Now, open to hearing the truth from Spirit. If you are really open to learning, you will hear, feel, sense, or see pictures about the truth. In essence, Spirit will let you know that, “People’s feelings about you are not based on you never making mistakes. You can’t actually control how others feel about you. If someone is having a bad day, he or she may reject you, even if you do everything perfectly. The problem is that you are making others’ opinion of you matter so much, and this causes you much anxiety. Yet it is you who reject yourself, by judging yourself and telling yourself you are not okay the way you are. Take your Inner Child off the hook. Tell your Child that you will love him or her even if you make mistakes – that your lovability is not in your performance but is in your kindness, your caring, your compassion, your understanding, your gentleness.

Step 5 – Take the loving action. In this case, it would be to tell your Child the truth that you received from Spirit, and move into loving rather than judging yourself.

Step 6 – Evaluate, by going inside again and see how you feel. Do you feel calmer when you tell yourself that you are lovable just the way you are rather than that you have to perform to be acceptable? Do you feel calmer when you value yourself rather than judge yourself?

You may discover if you start to practice Inner Bonding® and tune into the thoughts that are causing your feelings, that you have constant thoughts that create anxiety. Most of these thoughts have to do with telling yourself you will not be okay if: you lose your job, lose your relationship, someone rejects you, your stocks goes down, your boss yells at you, your mate yells at you, your child yells at you, and so on. Much of our anxiety is about what we tell ourselves about others and events, rather than about the actual events.

A Six-Step Process: Depression

Step 1 – Tune into your feeling of depression. Where do you feel it in your body? How would you describe the physical feeling that you are calling depression? Acknowledge, welcome and embrace the feeling of depression. Pretend this feeling is a small child who is feeling very depressed and needs your help and understanding. Decide that you want responsibility for causing your depression.

Step 2 – Choose a compassionate intent to learn about what you are thinking or doing that is creating the depression. Let go of believing, for the moment, that other people or events are the cause of these feelings.

Step 3 – Ask the feeling part of you — your Inner Child — what you as the adult are thinking or doing that is causing this feeling. Then allow yourself to move into the depression and let the answers come from within. For example:

Adult: What am I thinking or doing that is causing you to feel depressed?

Child: Well, first of all, you always ignore me. I feel like I’m not important to you.

Adult: Tell me more about that.

Child: You don’t pay any attention to what I feel. You completely ignore me or turn to food or alcohol when I feel lonely or heartbroken. You let people treat me badly and you don’t say anything about it. You’re much more worried about what other people think than about taking care of me. Of course I’m depressed – I don’t think you like me at all. You’re always looking to get other people to take care of me and make me feel good. Why don’t you like me and want to take care of me?

Adult: I just think you’re a pain in the butt. It’s too much trouble to take care of you, and I don’t know how. And I don’t know what to do with your feelings. I just can’t deal with painful feelings.

Child: That’s why I’m depressed. It’s just like when I grew up. No one wanted to know what I felt. No one cared. And now you don’t care. So how do you expect me to feel?

Step 4 – Open to your Guidance and ask for help. As your ego wounded self, you don’t know how to take care of and manage your feelings, but you can certainly learn to do it with the help of your Guidance and perhaps some therapeutic help or the help of knowledgeable others. When we didn’t learn to manage feelings as we were growing up, we need to learn this as an adult.

In Step 4, we are asking for the truth and the loving action based on the truth.

Adult: (Asking Guidance) Is it true that taking care of my Child is too much trouble?

Guidance: (Possible answer) Actually, it’s a lot easier that trying to get others to do it for you or being miserable because no one is doing it. It is really not as hard as you think – much less difficult than taking care of an actual child or even a pet.

Adult: Well, what is the first thing I need to do to start taking care of myself?

Guidance: The first loving action that would be really helpful is to start to speak up for yourself and work and at home. You need to stop giving yourself up and start to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no, instead of trying to avoid conflict all the time by giving in. If you start to speak up and tell your truth, your Child will begin to feel important to you rather than abandoned by you.

Step 5 – Now you would need to take the loving action for a period of time and then move on to Step 6.

Step 6 – You need to keep tuning in to how you feel as a result of speaking up for yourself. Are you feeling less depressed? If so, then you are on the right track. If not, then you need to go back to Guidance for another loving Action.

Spiritual

We live on a difficult planet. Most people do not have a good support system and sense of community. The way we live can generate much loneliness. We may have health challenges, financial challenges, and relationship challenges. Handling these alone can create much anxiety and depression.

How do you think you would feel if you knew that there was always someone watching over you, someone who had your highest good at heart? How would you feel if you could turn to this being for guidance, comfort, love, wisdom and strength? Of course, you would feel much less alone and anxious.

Many people believe in God but do not have a direct and personal relationship with a source of spiritual Guidance. For a visualization to connect with your spiritual Guidance, see the book “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?”, “The Inner Bonding Audio Workshop”, and the audio tape, “Beyond Fear and Addiction” in the store at http://www.innerbonding.com. The visualization presented in the book and on the tapes can help you begin to connect with your personal Guidance, but really knowing that your Guidance is always there takes daily practice.

You cannot permanently move beyond your anxiety and depression without a strong spiritual connection. Life on this planet is often too scary and challenging without the love, guidance and support of Spirit. We have constant decisions to make, and we need the wisdom of our Guidance to know what to do.

The Earthly and the Spiritual

The earthly journey is about control. It is about accumulation, status, and physical safety. The spiritual journey is about evolving as a loving human being, starting with ourselves. While we do need to pay attention to the earthly because we have to provide food and shelter for ourselves and do all we can to keep ourselves healthy and safe in the physical world, if our focus is on control and accumulation, we may often feel anxious and depressed. However, if our primary focus is on the soul’s journey of becoming a loving human being, and we stay connected with our Guidance regarding how best to do this with ourselves and others, we will feel anxious and depressed far less often. We have control over who we choose to be — to be loving or unloving, open or closed, controlling of others or in surrender to Spirit. We do not have control over others and the outcome of events. If our focus is on controlling others and the outcome of events, we will likely feel anxious and depressed whenever we fail to get what we want.

Focusing on the spiritual journey can often make our earthly journey far easier, but focusing on the earthly journey can create much fear. Focusing on the earthly journey can be pretty depressing, while focusing on the spiritual journey is often inspirational and fulfilling.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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