A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution

A starburst firework going off against a black sky

There are two kinds of New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. What you are going to do to accomplish your goals
  2. Who you want to be

Many New Year’s Resolutions are of the first kind:

  • I’m going to lose 25 pounds this year
  • I’m going to exercise every day
  • I’m going to learn self-discipline
  • I’m going to double my income
  • I’m going to learn to fly
  • I’m going to take piano lessons

And so on….

I’m not at all diminishing these kinds of resolutions. It is often very helpful to set these kinds of goals for ourselves.

But perhaps this year, you can add another kind of New Year’s Resolution – the who-you-want-to-be kind.

Who You Want To Be Resolutions

What if your primary resolutions had to do with your thoughts and actions toward yourself and others? What if these resolutions centered around being loving rather than achieving something? What might these resolutions be?

  • I’m going to become aware of my judgments toward myself and others and how I feel inside when I’m judgmental.
  • When I’m angry, I’m going to go off by myself and take care of my own feelings rather than dump my anger on others.
  • I’m going to stop taking others’ behavior personally and instead embrace the loneliness and heartache I feel when others are uncaring.
  • I’m going to remember to be grateful for every small blessing rather than complain about what I don’t have.
  • I will make being loving more important than avoiding the pain of rejection.
  • I will attend to the painful life feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief, sorrow, and helplessness over others with deep compassion for my self rather than turning to addictions to numb them.
  • I will keep my heart open to learning about what is loving to me and to others rather than close my heart to protect against the pain of life.
  • I will be warm, kind and respectful toward everyone I meet, even if I don’t personally connect with them.
  • I will take loving care of my body, the house of my soul.
  • I will allow my higher self to guide me in what is in my highest good and the highest good of others, rather than allow my ego wounded self to be in charge of my thoughts and actions.
  • I will take the time to be with those I love and express my love for them.
  • I will remember to stay connected with my inner guidance, my feelings, so that I can take full responsibility for them.
  • I will choose to love, even when I am afraid. I make love more important than control, than being right, than winning.
  • I will attend to what brings my joy.
  • I will be true to myself, neither giving myself up to others, nor expecting others to give themselves up to me.
  • I will support my own highest good and the highest good of others, never deliberately acting in ways that harm me or harm others.
  • I will be honest and trustworthy with myself and others, never compromising my integrity as a soul.
  • I will constantly keep in mind what I want to contribute to others rather than what I want to get from others.

I’m sure you can think of many more who-you-want-to-be resolutions. Why not take some time right now to write them out?

Imagine the world we would have if each of us made loving ourselves and others our highest priority – higher than fame, higher than fortune, higher than being the best, higher than winning or being right, higher than avoiding the painful feelings of life.

Imagine the world we would have if we learned to love as God loves, to be the unconditional love that is God.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Dr. Margaret Paul is the author/co-author of numerous best-selling books, including: Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?…The Workbook Healing Your Aloneness The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook Inner Bonding Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids? Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years. Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into many languages. After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years, Margaret was discouraged by the results – both for her clients and herself. She had spent years trying to heal from her own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found herself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. She started to seek a process that works fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, she met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and Margaret had the other half! They have been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 26 years. Margaret works with individuals and couples throughout the world – on the phone, in workshops and 5-Day Intensives, and with members of Inner Bonding Village at http://www.innerbonding.com. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Dr. Margaret has just completed a 12 year project call SelfQuest®, which is a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution software program. SelfQuest® is being donated to prisons and schools and sold to individuals, families, and businesses. You can read about SelfQuest® and see a short video of it at http://selfquest.com. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride and play with her horses, and spend time with her children and grandchildren.

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